Ordinary miracles

"There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle. (Albert Einstein)"

I came across that quote the other day and it struck a chord with me...so the question is; which camp do you find yourself in? I know people who look at the world and point to the science that explains it as proof there is no God. And I know people, myself included who do just the opposite. Science only underlines what an amazing God has set the whole cosmos in motion and who maintains it in perfect harmony. You simply need to make the choice to see things that way.

Think just of the people in your life, what they add to the colour and texture of your existence. I have one friend who calls me her "accidental" friend. I love that. I needed a babysitter, what I got was a friend-a whole new circle of friends in truth. A miracle. Being able to translate the difficult places I have walked into encouragement for another friend finding herself in similar places another miracle.
My beautiful daughter, born, unplanned two years after a tubal ligation, is no accident or medical statistic, but a miracle. All of my children are miracles.
I'm still standing, after all the times life has tried to knock me down, and standing strong, living with hope & joy. I call that a miracle.
William Blake wrote To see a World in a Grain of Sand /And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,/Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand /And Eternity in an hour. The Romantics saw God in everything...and while I don't hold to their whole philosophy I do like the notion of seeing God everywhere. There is real peace and joy in that, to my mind.
Tomorrow, really watch the sun rise, tonight, watch the sun set. Take a moment, see spring beginning to awaken. All miracles, if you choose to see life as wonder-full, awesome (as the word was intended, not as we bastardized it years ago). You are a miracle.

Choose life. Choose to see the miracle.

In Dreams

You come to me in dreams

Like Jacob’s angels

Forth & back to heaven

Are you real, or just fantasy?

I hear you call to me across the water

I feel your arms around me, you whisper my name,

tickling gently at the nape of my neck –

I don’t want the dawn to come.

Sunrise streaks the skies

Must you go?

Soon, soon, is the hungry promise

You to me, me to you; Soon.

Maybe tomorrow I will wake

And you will stay.

A Letter to the Hurting

Plato said we ought to "be kind, everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle". I know I have fought my share, and know there will be more to come. In the midst of the worst of the battles I felt like I was the only one struggling, but the more people I meet and really listen to the more I realize that old Plato was right. Having said that, today's posting is an open letter to my friends currently waging their own private battles.

My beloved friends, new, old, only just discovered;
I want you to know I am praying earnestly for you, whether I know all the details of you private battles or not. I don't need that knowledge to see you are hurting and to want to make the hurt a little easier to bear. They say joy shared is doubled, but sorrow shared is halved. You have been there to carry me through my pain, grief, fear and doubt. Let me now have the privilege of returning the favour.

What ever you may need I am here, to listen, to be a shoulder to cry on, to reassure you when you have doubts, to offer what meager wisdom I have gained. If you need to go out, have some fun and just forget, I can do that. If you need to dig through the rubble, I can do that too. When you can not find your faith I will offer you mine. When you feel to weak to go on rest here a while with me. If the night is too dark & silent call me. I will listen to God's voice for you when you're not sure you are getting through. I know He will never let you fall beyond where His hand can reach, but if you need a hand to hold here is mine.

I believe we are all connected to one another, living stones in walls that surround and support those we love. When you feel lost and alone know that you ARE loved, you ARE precious, you ARE cherished. We are not friends by accident or happenstance. We were meant to be friends. You have something unique that I need in my life, and I hope you find something you need in me as well. I love you, my friend. And no matter what, that love is a choice, an act of will. Yes and Amen.

There. I'm glad I got that said. And if, by chance, you read this and you are not a part of my personal circle of friends, I am sure there are friends in your life who do love you like this. And if no one else does, I know Jesus does. Don't know Him? It's time you let Him introduce Himself.

Be Blessed, my friends, you are loved.

Weak or Strong?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”(Matthew 11:28-30)

I wonder how many people stay away from church because they are broken and imperfect. After all we would never stay away from the doctor's office because we were sick, or out of the grocery store if we were hungry. I can appreciate the sentiment all too well though. There have been times when I have sat in church, my heart breaking, my world crumbling around me, and I have looked at the people around me and thought they had it all together, that I had best not allow anyone to know the pain I was in. I could not admit to my weakness, to my fear, to my doubt, or worst of all to my anger or my disappointment. I could not ask for the help I desperately needed. Thank God He had put wise and astute friends in my circle, who could see the hurt I was denying and who pursued me to offer a helping hand.
More than pat answers, even more than their prayers sometimes, what I needed was to be heard. Having someone I trusted to talk to, weep with, to really listen to me was such an amazing gift. And very often I came to my own answers, my own solutions, but I needed to talk my way to them.
John Donne wrote "no man is an island", Paul expressed it this way: And if they were all one member, where would the body be? But now indeed there are many members, yet one body. And the eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you”; nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.(! Corinthians 12:19-21)" We all need each other. When I struggled through my first divorce and the horror of the custody trial I took comfort in knowing that I was gaining wisdom and understanding that might some day be of comfort or assistance to somebody else. Today I can offer my life as living proof that life does get better, that God meets our need where we are. I know first hand the power of the smallest gesture. It is so easy to say "I'll pray for you", hearing the prompting of Holy Spirit and acting on it is not. But that hurting soul in front of you may need practical Christianity-groceries, cash, or maybe someone to listen, pour a cup of coffee & let heartbreak pour out. When I was going through a difficult time I had a wonderful friend bring me dinner once a week-and as wonderful as coming home at the end of the day to a find a lovely meal in a cooler on my doorstep, the real gift was knowing somebody remembered me. And if you are the one who is hurting, believe me when I tell you we find our greatest strength in admitting we are weak. Don't be afraid to lean on the people God put in your life for just that reason. The devil likes to keep us apart, hiding behind false smiles and veneers of strength and perfection. We are all stones in each other's walls, we support & strengthen each other. I'll be obsidian when you feel like talc.
What is your weakness are you concealing? How could you give or receive practical Christianity?

Endless Love

I have a love/hate relationship with romantic movies. For the most part they are little more than brain candy, a mindless way to while away a long solo Saturday night or a quiet Sunday afternoon, and that's all well and good. Except so often they leave me longing for something more. Every woman longs to be seen as lovely, the beautiful object of someone's desire. I am a strong and independent woman, more than content in my single state and yet my heart secretly yearns to be sought after, pursued, desired. I admit it. I still want my knight in shining armour, my Prince Charming to ride up and rescue me.
Oh, I know there's still a lot of story after the "happily ever after". That Prince Charming can't find the laundry hamper or carry his dishes back to the kitchen. I left fairy tales behind years ago...but I think it's a little sad when we do. We were born to dream, and in Genesis "The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. 2:18)" Every Adam has his Eve and we spend our lives seeking out that soul who really does (pardon the cliche) complete us. Trouble is we're fallible people looking for an infallible match.
But we do have a perfect lover, a match made, quite literally, in heaven and the Bible tells that love story. Go ahead, read the Song of Solomon again. Skip ahead to Revelation and read about the marriage supper of the Lamb. On my loneliest nights I have felt the unfailing arms of Jesus wrap themselves around me and hold me close. His love has never failed me.
Fantasies are lovely things, they certainly give us hope, they can catch us unawares, provide a sudden, secret smile. I like to imagine grand romantic gestures; flowers delivered to my office, surprise invitations to lunch, flirtarious emails & texts, but I long ago learned not to expect them. But my Jesus sends me flowers every spring, and well into the fall, sunrises & sunsets every day, He whispers words of love in my ear on the breeze.
How do you experience His love?

Expectations

Have you ever felt like you somehow disappointed people in your life because you choose to live life on your own terms, to see God's blessing in the smallest things, for being happy and content even though your life is no where near "perfect"? Its not always the easiest road to take, but in the long run, when it comes to peace of mind it is far and away the better choice.
I wrote several days ago about feeling a little like an outsider in my life. I admit to being a little (ok, a lot) stubborn and insisting on forging my own way. It can be overwhelmingly lonely but I have to march to my own drummer. I am sure this causes my mother no end of distress. I may be into my forties, but having my own children approaching adulthood, I know in her eyes I will always be that little girl she held and worried about, and encouraged out into the world. My family are all practicing and relatively devout Catholics. I am not, having chosen a freer relationship with Jesus in my teens (none of them understand this-they all think I'm crazy, I think). I have no desire to climb a social or corporate ladder, I am content to grow where God has planted me, waiting to see His plan for my potential come to fruition.
I have struggled with, and learned to shrug off the expectations of others, whether it be in relation to my physical health, my emotional well-being, my career path, or the use of my gifts. And, as a parent I have tried to not impose my expectations on my children but to encourage them to make their own way, be who God has called them to be, to trust their own hearts.
Whose expectations do you struggle with? Do you feel like you are living your own unique life or following someone else's plan for you?

Never Alone

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)”
"
No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.(Joshua 1:5)"

"...be content with what you have, because God has said; “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?(Hebrews 13:5)

When I was in my teens, probably throughout my childhood, although it was those angst ridden teen years that underscored it, I was a bit of a geeky misfit. I was never an athlete, never part of the "cool" crowd. I had my own circle of friends, for sure, but even among these, as I have said in earlier posts, I never quite felt like I fit. I learned to embrace it, and as an adult sometimes wonder if I wasn't , even then, called to a life apart. One of the most painful memories of this time was going downtown with a group of girlfriends on our lunch hour. We we go into a store, and when I stopped to look at something the others would leave me behind. I suppose they thought it was funny. For the most part I don't think about those days, but when I examine my biggest relationship fears I find I can see a common thread, being abandoned by the companions I chose for myself.
As much as I enjoy being alone, and I embrace my single life, there are times I struggle with my solitude. I admit I long to have someone hold me again, to feel safe, loved, protected. Having been twice abandoned by the men I chose (one to another woman, one to his addictions) I know I can not seek this security in the arms of a man. It is on Jesus alone I can rely, and His promise to never leave me.
Today is Easter Saturday, the day we mark the dark hours between Jesus' death on the cross and the glorious empty tomb of Easter Sunday. We know, with the wisdom of history that Good Friday was not the end of the story, but for the disciples they must have had hearts filled with what they saw now as broken promise and lost dreams. The king they sought, followed, believed in, pinned their hopes and dreams on was gone. Cruelly beaten and executed, hastily buried in a borrowed grave. Through that long Saturday how they must have grieved! We have all stood over fresh graves, court stamped divorce papers, pink slips, rejection notices, behind slammed doors, angry words echoing in our ears. But the dream is not dead, friend. That dark Saturday the dream was being transformed-hold on to Sunday-we have not been abandoned at all!
Happy and Blessed Easter all. Take comfort, rejoice in the Empty Tomb and the promise in it.

Fearless?

I've been thinking about fear lately. It seems like every time I turn on the news, or even watch commercials on T.V. there is something new they are saying we need to worry about, avoid eating or doing or warn our children about. Regularly in my email inbox I get warnings from well meaning friends about cell phones causing cancer, some new scam to get my money (if I had any for someone to get!) the list is endless. I think what surprises me most about the emails is that the friends who send them are usually fellow Christians who should know where our security lies, in the profound love of Jesus.
You can call me crazy if you want to-I've heard it before. I am well aware of the pitfalls and dangers of modern life, I do read the reports, take the information under advisement, but I have never been much given to worry. Twice I married worriers and they could never understand my utter faith that things would somehow work out. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. (Matthew 6:25-32)

Fear and worry hinder and dog us in ways that are hard to appreciate. It seems right and wise to be concerned about What we hear & see says: “We went into the land to which you sent us, and it does flow with milk and honey! Here is its fruit. But the people who live there are powerful, and the cities are fortified and very large... “We can’t attack those people; they are stronger than we are.” “The land we explored devours those living in it. All the people we saw there are of great size. We seemed like grasshoppers in our own eyes, and we looked the same to them.” (Numbers 13:27-33) Indeed there are "giants" in the land, but in knowing who we serve “We should go up and take possession of the land, for we can certainly do it.”
Fear can be a good thing, when it causes us to pause, consider our actions, but it ought not keep us from living in a land "flowing with milk & honey" We are not called to live recklessly, but confidently and without fear, since "perfect love casts out all fear (1John 4:18). If we are living in the Father's love we have nothing to fear.
When I was a little girl I knew my parents loved me and I had everything I needed. I was safe in their love. As a parent myself I have worked to ensure my children did not worry about food, shelter or security. This is the security the Father's love provides for us, whatever we need He knows before we ask and it is His good pleasure to provide it.
Please, don't think I am advising against wisdom, caution, or Godly concern. We need to be aware of the perils around us, but we are called to be overcomers, to rise above fear, to live boldly. Our bodies are "temples of the Holy Spirit" (1Corinthians 6:19) and we need to pay heed to our health, to eat well, to exercise, to rest, but not out of fear of dying or aging (neither of which we can avoid). I am naturally shy and reticent, I guard my true self fiercely. I avoid new and unfamiliar surroundings. But I have come to see I might be missing out on where I am supposed to be. Even posting this blog is a risk for me, putting my thoughts, my words, out there, exposing this private side of me. I have decided to try to live without fear, to speak & act as my heart leads, to keep caution but abandon fear. I want to face down the giants keeping me out of my promised land.
What is fear keeping you from doing or being? What would your life look like if you let go of the edge?

Dive

My feet still feel the weight of his shackles

Sometimes

When I hesitate in doubt & fear,

listening to lying whispers

echoing back at me

My toes curl over, grip the edge

Cool water caresses my feet

Warm breezes ruffle my hair

I turn my face to the sun,

See your smiling face, your outstretched arms

And I set myself free

Dive into the ocean of You.

Hide & Seek

We played Hide & Seek a lot when I was a kid...or maybe I just remember it that way, but I have fond memories of playing in the semi-dark of a summer evening, diving behind the shrubbery in my grandmother's garden, trying to sneak into "home" without getting caught. There was a certain exhilaration to finding the perfect hiding spot, to remaining undetected as the seeker walked by. It was sometimes hard to decide whether to boast about, and thus share, the best spots, or to keep it a guarded secret for the next game.

Life is a little like that now, I think. We hide our true selves, our struggles, our doubts, our fears, terrified that if the people around us knew our lives were not picture perfect they would somehow think less of us. Any yet we all long to be known. As a woman, especially as a single woman (although I desperately longed for this in my previous relationships) what I want most is a partner who knows me well enough to know by the tilt of my head, a glance into my eyes to know something is wrong, who can hear in my voice all those secret things. And I want to do the same for him. To be in a place where I don't need to hide my true, flawed self.

This desire to be known is so fundamental as the Psalmist wrote:
You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you. (Psalm 1391:12)
What an assurance! The intimate knowlege we all long for...even when we try to hide, there is no hiding from the one who created us.
Sometimes when we played Hide & Seek someone would hide too well and we'd give up looking, knowing eventually they'd come out. It was a bittersweet victory-knowing you had stayed so well concealed, but to be forgotten or given up on too?

It's growing dark, the dew has begun to rise and it is time to be found-come on in from the cold.

Hide & Seek
I called out to you-
Your voice echoed back
But the more I sought you
The more elusive you became

I searched mountain tops
And shadowed valleys
In bright sunlight
And moonless dark
In familiar corners of home
And across the seas

Where have you gone, my darling, my love/
Will you not let yourself be found?
There are no winners, no losers in this game.

I weary of seeking…
If I cease will you grow weary of hiding?
Become the seeker and find me?

Not Yet

In the doctor's office this morning, after scanning through 2 fashion magazines & wondering just what they were thinking, then reading cover to cover a 3 month old Reader's Digest (in truth it wasn't that long a wait-I read fast) I decided I had read everything within arm's reach, including the doctor's charts and certificates in the wall. I checked my watch again & thankfully the doctor arrived. Five minutes later I was in the parking lot & on my way to work. Is there anything more frustrating than waiting a ridiculously longer amount of time for anything than the awaited event takes?
As I was driving to work I got thinking about how much I really hate waiting, which brought me around again to stillness. In many ways being still and waiting are the same thing-so why do I so cherish my quiet time & enjoy being still when I react so vehemently to waiting? I think it has to do with choice. I choose to be still, to listen for God's voice. I want everything else to fall into my timetable. It's kind of funny that as soon as I laid aside the magazine and decided to use the waiting to meditate, to quiet my mind, the time was gone.
Waiting frustrates me, there are days when I feel like all I do is wait-for the coffee to finish brewing (hurray for pause & serve!), for my daughter to finish getting ready for school, for the light to change, for the phone to ring....for an answer to my prayer.
Ah, there it is. Waiting on God. Likely one of the most difficult things any of us face. We can alter our driving route around traffic, we can hurry people along, we can choose to shop when lines are shorter. We can not hurry God-and it never goes well when we try.
I've heard people say God didn't answer their prayers. In fact what they usually mean is they didn't get the response they wanted. There is always an answer: "Yes", "No", or the hardest to swallow, "Not yet."
As a parent saying "not today" to my children usually elicits whinging or pleas to know when. Are we any different with God? He asks us to wait, reminds us His timing is perfect (and if we look back we know it always has been) and we demand to know when, then. I have been waiting years on a growing list of promises. And some days my patience wavers and I rail at heaven demanding to know how long? And the answer is as unsatisfactory to me as mine is to my children-"soon" or "some day".
Considering my experience this morning, maybe if I set my mind to meditate, to pray, to refocus instead of choosing annoyance or frustration the waiting will end sooner. Maybe that is exactly the point-where's my focus? It's not my time, really, anyway, since I choose to give it all back to God at the beginning of the day.

What have you been waiting for? Do you struggle with waiting too?

Simple Gift

I have a very dear friend who is struggling right now with some difficult things (truth be told there are several wonderful people in my life facing personal struggles...and don't we all get our share?) And as I watch her struggle I wish desperatley that I could do something more to help, but all I have to offer are these simple words and in moments like these words alone seem so very inadquate. That's where my prayers were headed this morning....down the "my gift isn't as good as so-and-so's" road. And then I got a gentle "nudge" from Holy Spirit, reminding me this was first His gift to me, and His gifts are never inadequate, but perfectly tailored to each recipient. No, I can't sing, or dance or paint. My bank account is always woefully strained. Encouragement and acts of service don't come easily to my hands. But I can write.

Someone once wrote "the pen is mightier than the sword" (Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Richelieu). There is power in words: "Let there be light" and creation began, "It is finished" and new life began, "I love you" restarted a broken heart as easily as "I don't love you anymore" stopped it. "Ask and it will be given to you", speak to the mountain and it will be moved.

Each of us has been given special and unique gifts, talents and skills and we ought not despair that someone else can do what we can not. They may just as likely despair that they can not do what you do. Let's begin to celebrate our unique gifts, take pleasure in what we have been given. I have always loved to write, pen to page, loving the taste of words on my tongue, the song of them in my ears, but for years I neglected this passion, kept it hidden away. In recent months I have rediscovered my passion, and I write if only for myself. Writing is my song of praise and I thank God for this gift.



Take this humble gift of mine,

These simple words, measured phrases,

Let them sing to Your glory,

Of the dreams You have murmured in my ear

Sing Your song to me

I will it back to You

Let our love song echo across time


What is your gift? How do you employ it?

Being Still

I am an early riser. Always have been (well, except for those few teen years-and even then I was UP early, I just went back to bed) As a child what I disliked most about sleepovers was staying with friends who looked on mornings as a time to sleep...in fact it is still what makes staying with friends uncomfortable for me. I'd be awake with the proverbial chickens, my friends would remain in the arms of Morpheus & I would, in my extreme shyness feel trapped, needing my friend to act as a buffer with her family. But this is not about childhood trauma, but stillness.
I love the quiet, the stillness of early morning. If more spring like conditions ever arrive here (winter is hanging on fiercely this year) I will look forward to taking my coffee outside to watch the sunrise, listening to early birdsong and the world waking up. It is in these quiet moments my heart is fully quiet too. The pre-dawn hour is my favourite time to reflect, to pray. Robbed of this, which sometimes happens, for all my careful guarding of it, I find my day a little more chaotic, stressful, lacking in peace.
One of my favourite scriptures is Habakuk 2:20 :But the LORD is in his holy temple: let all the earth keep silence before him", as well as Psalm 46:10 " He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
In our busy, always "on" world and 24/7 lives it can be hard to appreciate, to even find the quiet.
Because I am quiet, and because I like quiet places I have struggled with being labled as idle, lazy, even cold or snobbish. In these quiet places in fact I am preparing my heart & my mind for what might be coming next. It is in the quiet I hear God speak and words flow, allowing my gifts to sing. In the quiet I find the strength to stand my ground against the trials I must face.
To my mind being quiet, having that "quiet time" is essential preparation time. Before God parted the Red Sea for the people of Israel to be utterly free of Egypt Moses told them to "not be afraid" to "stand firm" and to "be still" (Exodus 14:13-14). In Ephesians Paul admonishes us to "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand." (Ephesians 6:13). There is no passivity in such stillness, but strength,& preparedness. Mothers with small children know the value of quiet time, putting little ones down for a nap & allowing time for mom to recoup, have a much needed break from demanding little hands and voices (don't you love them all the more when you've had a break from them?) I have to wonder what the world would look like if we all had a quiet time, a quiet place to retreat or to start from again.
What do you think? When you you enjoy quiet?

Shattered

On my knees, shattered
Sifting through the dust and ashes
for the shards of my heart

My fingers bleed
I fit the pieces together,
rough edges poorly glued
missing slivers forever lost in the fall.
Too fragile, no longer a thing of beauty

Through tears of loss and regret
Your outstretched hand;
Master Craftsman.
Take my broken life
undo my poor repair
polish, refit, replace

Return to my trembling hands
Stronger being broken
Lovelier from the care of the Master’s hand.


Thought I'd try something different for today's post. I actually wrote this about 6 weeks ago, and like pretty much everything I write is a work in progress. All of us at some time or another find ourselves utterly broken but it is only on being broken that we can become whole. It is the fractures, the flaws, the scars that make us who we are, make us unique. " The word which came to Jeremiah from the LORD, saying: “Arise and go down to the potter’s house, and there I will cause you to hear My words.” Then I went down to the potter’s house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make.
Then the word of the LORD came to me, saying: “O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?” says the LORD. “Look, as the clay is in the potter’s hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel! The instant I speak concerning a nation and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, to pull down, and to destroy it, if that nation against whom I have spoken turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I thought to bring upon it. And the instant I speak concerning a nation and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it, if it does evil in My sight so that it does not obey My voice, then I will relent concerning the good with which I said I would benefit it. (Jeremiah 18:1-10)
Has being "broken" made you better, stronger?

Rocks in My Pocket

I've been thinking about rocks lately. (No, not diamonds, but they certainly would be appreciated!) I suppose this is a convergence of several ideas, so bear with me while I weave them all together.
I have spent this past week trying to express my affection for a good friend who is celebrating a birthday today and who has been a great support to me through the last several years of personal struggle. Words escaped me, which is a painful place for any writer to find herself in. What I finally came up to was this:
"Stone upon stone we build our lives on His firm foundation, with living stones creating walls to keep the harsh storms of life at bay, to shelter us from the wind and the rain. Every stone fitted together by the Master Builder, etched with the gifts we need. No stone can be removed without weakening the wall, and when one must be removed the Builder shores up the wall and seeks a perfect replacement."
1 Peter 2:5 says; "you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house". I am ever grateful for those living stones who surrounded me, covered me when I needed shelter and protection, and who helped give me a solid place to stand when I was ready to venture out again.
Throughout the Old Testament God's people used stones to create altars and other monuments to remind them of God's provision. To this end I have a stone my little girl found last summer in the coulee on my desk and on its face I have inscribed 1 Samuel 7:12; "Then Samuel took a stone...He named it Ebenezer, saying "Thus fan the Lord has helped us."" On the other sides I have begin to mark various other scriptures that remind me of God's promises and provisions in my life. A tangible reminder against those moments when doubt, or fear or sorrow begin to whisper. We all have our ways of remembering. I used to keep two small stones in my coat pocket for the same purpose. Those stones I picked up on a beach on Vancouver Island. I was on a holiday with my first husband but I was feeling quite alone and neglected. I don't know why I chose those particular stones. They are not unusual or remarkable in any way, but finding them in my pocket always made me smile, reminded me that even when I felt most forgotten and alone I was not.
How do you mark and remember what God has done and promised to do in your life? What is your Ebenezer?

On Outside Looking In or On the Inside Looking Out?

I've been sending my almost 18 year old son scripture passages to read & study throughout Lent this year. It began as a challenge to him, to encourage him to explore for himself the things he has been taught all of his life. It has become a challenge for me as well; to find passages that I hope will speak to him and draw him close to discovering who he is called to be. I can not quite believe how quickly my little boy has become a man, and as he approaches the age of majority it has become all the more critical that he takes responsibility for his faith in Christ.
Today's passage was 1 Peter 2:1-10. The verse that had been on my heart to underline for him though was verse 9: "But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light." The way I remember learning it however was with the phrase "a peculiar people" rather than "God's special possession". I have often felt, even among my nearest & dearest, different, odd, on the outside. Don't get me wrong-I sincerely like who I am, I always have, but I have never quite felt like I fit in.
Maybe I'm the only one who ever feels this way, but I somehow doubt it.
I was never part of the "in" crowd, all the way back to high school I embraced my "inner nerd". I figured I may as well be deliberate in being different.
I grew up, made new friends, built new relationships with people I feel real kinship with. And still I find myself looking around, feeling like an outsider, alone, even sometimes like I'm playacting.
And then I remember that verse. I'm not supposed to be like everyone else. I am me. I am unique, with unique gifts and talents and knowledge. And I am not alone, I am called to be this person; this mom, this friend, this woman.
Its funny, as teenagers we strive to be unique, different, so we dress like our friends, embrace the same movies and trends, and dread standing out. And we never quite outgrow that, do we?
The road I find myself on is well traveled and yet I can, I must forge my own path. I am blessed to have a Light to guide my steps. I do not know where this road will take me, but I must be the me I was called to be-chosen, royal, holy and yes, peculiar.
What about you? Do you ever feel like you just don't fit?

The View From Here

The View From Here



So, what is the View From Here all about? The idea is born out of the concept of our lives being a journey. And sometimes all we can see is the little bit of the road in front of us. Our destination seems so far away, and the terrain is steep, rocky, and we start to feel like we’re not moving up the mountain, because we have to traverse it to cope with the grade. It’s difficult, and frustrating, and we start feeling like we’re just not getting anywhere. From time to time we need to stop, lift our feet from the path and look back to see how far we have come, look out and enjoy the scenery, take a moment to remember why we’re on this journey.

We all tend to get a little fixated on our personal milestones-turning 16, 18, 21 (or our children reaching those markers), getting a driver’s license, falling in love, falling out of love, getting married, getting divorced, having children-we all have several. We can get stuck looking back at how good it was when……(because wasn’t it easier before?) or we can get too focused on what’s coming around the next corner –either way we loose sight of the moment we’re living in right now. And this moment is really all we have.

I don’t think the road I’ve travelled is all that unique, I’m not even sure I have anything profound to say, and yet so often when I get stuck someone has made me turn around and see how far I’ve come. I want to do that for you. Share what I’ve been learning as I put one foot in front of the other, daily striving toward that ever elusive summit. Let’s take a breath & enjoy the view from here.