Mother

It is almost midnight and I find I cannot sleep.  This is becoming an all to regular occurrence of late.  Usually I toss & turn & listen to the radio, eventually lulled to sleep.  Tonight I thought I'd try a different tack.  I've been trying to write the following poem for a couple of months now, and after many false starts and much stalling I think, maybe, I almost have it. (Are there writers out there who are ever fully satisfied with the work they produce?  Is it ever well and truly finished?  Or do you just have to call it good and move on to the next project?)
In any case, tomorrow we are heading to my home town to celebrate my mother's 70th birthday.  These last few have been difficult years, but we are all still here, still standing, still moving forward.  It is my prayer we will celebrate many more birthdays together.  Happy Birthday, Mom, I love you.
Thank you for everything you are & for everything you have done for me.

There is a picture

tucked away in a dusty album

fading with the years

my mother and me...

There is love implicit in the photograph

Smiling, she leans in toward me

a story book on my knees

a halo of babycurls and footie pajamas

I am on her knee...

she is looking at me, her hand on my shoulder

but my gaze is drawn somewhere else

There is love implicit in the photograph

and though memory had me perched on her knee

as though eager to go

Too soon I think I bounded from her embrace

eager for whatever held my gaze even then.

Life and living; newer more enticing loves

it is not so

Her hands shield me though her arms do not hold me back

And yet

though you cannot see them

then or now

there are cords that bind my heart to hers,

the first love I ever knew,

and for all my pulling away they hold us close

I wish, more often now than ever,

I could take my story book

and, fresh from my bath in pyjamas,

clamber into her lap

Or, as time slowly turns the tables

take her in my embrace and hold her close

There is love implicit in the photograph

and though memory had me perched on her knee

as though eager to go

it is not so

Her hands shield me though her arms do not hold me back

Her lap cradles me

Her eyes watch me

Her love surrounds me

Cooking with Emily: Ginger Beef Sti-Fry

We are slowly moving toward back to school and the steady routine of school days.  I think we are both longing for the return to normalcy, whatever normal looks like, and yet will miss these long lazy days too.  Monday night was girl's night out with one of my circles of girlfriends, so Emily's cooking night was pushed back a couple of days.  I decided to let her stay home alone while I went out, since our evening out was only going to be a few blocks away.  It  was a test of sorts, since she has been asking me for over a year if she could come home alone after school.  She called at the times I requested, had her chores done and had showered & combed her hair.  I was pleased, and needless to say she passed the test.
We decided Wednesday was the only day this week she had to make dinner, and Tuesday afternoon she asked if I had a recipe for Ginger Beef, one of her favourite dishes at the Chinese buffet.  I told her it wouldn't be like the restaurant version and pointed her toward a couple of recipes i had in a folder full of recipes I wanted to try.  She chose one, and a quick scan confirmed it was something she could handle.
Emily spent Wednesday afternoon at the pool, and by quarter to five I was debating starting supper myself.  She did get home shortly after that, and while she changed I sliced a couple of small sirloin tip steaks into strips and sliced a couple of carrots for her.  She insisted I leave the kitchen then, and so I retreated.
She coated the strips of steak in a batter of cornstarch and water before placing them in hot oil.  Before long I was called to the rescue, the spattering oil had her hesitating.  I can't blame her, cooking with oil that spits and spatters isn't much fun.  I helped her brown the meat and set it aside while she sauteed the carrots, made her sauce and started a pot of rice.  Once the sauce of broth, soy sauce, ginger and orange peel was poured over the carrots she returned the steak to the pan.  The sauce thickened quickly so I advised her to shut it off while the rice finished cooking.  Emily had tasted a piece of meat while the carrots were cooking and was not impressed with the flavour, although there were no seasonings on it apart from a little salt in the batter.  As a whole though dinner was very tasty, although I suspect she mismeasured the water for the rice as it was slightly under cooked.  The sauce could have used a touch more ginger as it lacked a certain kick as well.  Then again we used chicken stock instead of beef, as there was a carton open in the refrigerator.  Beef broth may have had more body.  A pinch of red pepper flakes may have helped a little too.

Ginger Beef Stir-Fry

3 Tablespoons corn starch, divided               3/4 cup thinly sliced carrots

2 tablespoons water                                       3/4 cup beef broth

1/4 teaspoon salt                                            2 tablespoons soy sauce

1 1/2 lbs top sirloin steak, thinly sliced in 3' strips

2 teaspoons orange peel                                 1 teaspoon ground ginger

In a large bowl combine 2 tablespoons cornstarch with water & salt until smooth.  Add beef, toss to coat.

In a large skillet stir fry beef in small batches in 1 tablespoon vegetable oil until meat reaches desired doneness; remove and keep warm.

Stir fry carrots in another tablespoon of oil for 5-6 minutes.  Place remaining cornstarch in a bowl, stir in broth until smooth.  Add ginger, soy sauce and orange peel.  Return beef to skillet, stir in broth mixture.  Bring to a boil.  Cook and stir 2 minutes, until thickened.  Serve over rice, egg noodles or mashed potatoes.

Cooking with Emily: Penne with Three Cheeses

I'm afraid my little chef's tastes have grown expensive.  Expansive too, or getting there, anyway.  Parents with fussy eaters, get them cooking, they may be more willing to try things they would have turned their noses up at before.  I was myself a picky eater, although my self imposed rules only made sense to me, and all of my children were to some degree fussy too...and we have all (mostly) out grown it.  In the past Emily, while loving any dish with cheese in it or on it, has turned her nose up at most cheeses served simply on a cheese plate.  Cheese, sausage & crackers are, on occasion served as supper here, or as a part of supper that is just soup.  Tuesday night supper is our name for this meal, regardless of the night it is served (or if it makes an appearance as lunch)
In any case, Sunday night I set Emily to deciding what she was making for supper on Monday.  She unearthed the same cookbook she used last week and started reading.  We have had a few cooler days after several that were very warm, so she asked about using the oven, since, as a rule I opt to not use it for fear of heating up an already warm house through most of the summer months.  Deciding it would be okay to bake something she settled on this recipe.  It did call for porcini mushrooms, but neither of us care for them, so I determined we could alter the recipe and do without them.  But three cheeses, none of which were the staple Cheddar, meant this would be a more pricey dish.
I did a little quick research since I had never seen Fontina in our local store to see what it might be compared to, and what might make an adequate substitute.  Gouda was suggested, a lovely mild cheese I enjoy, so we wouldn't have anything wasted.  I indulged in a small block of dill Havarti too, just because, along with the required ricotta and Parmensan (I thought for this dish we would grate some fresh ourselves rather than use the jarred stuff I usually have in the fridge)  She sampled all of the cheese as I diced and grated, except for the ricotta, and decided she like them all.  A huge leap forward from Cheddar.
While Emily was off swimming I prepared a bowl of fresh snow peas from the farmer's market and cut the small bison tenderloin I had thawed into cubes for skewers,  Once she arrived home I continued acting as sous chef to speed her along, mincing an onion, shredding and cubing cheeses.
She started water boiling to cook her pasta and melted butter to brown the onion.  We had some debate over the next steps, as I had altered the recipe to accommodate the omission of dried porcini mushrooms in my head, but not on paper for her.  Once she understood, she sprinkled flour over the onions, whisking in chicken stock and milk, nutmeg and salt & pepper.  I cut some fresh thyme in the garden and showed her how to remove the leaves from the stalks, telling her to add the fresh herbs later in the recipe so as not to overcook them and spoil the flavours.  Next she stirred in the cooked pasta and the cheeses.  She balked when I told her to pour the pasta into the sauce, not the sauce over the pasta, as the recipe indicated, but I explained the sauce was in the larger pot, so it would be easier to stir.
Once the sauce had thickened slightly, and we added a little more pasta, quickly cooked, as the initial batch of noodle looked scant, I helped her pour the mixture into a baking dish.  We topped it with a little shredded Asiago cheese, making this now a Four Cheese Penne, and Emily put it in the oven to bake for 30 minutes, while I steamed the peas and put the bison skewers on the barbecue.
The pasta was lovely; rich and creamy, the snow peas crisp and green, a nice foil for the richness of the pasta.  The bison was done miraculously perfectly too as I discovered my propane had run out during the cooking.

 Penne With Three Cheeses

1 package penne rigate or ziti pasta (16 oz/3 cups)   3 tablespoons flour

1 cup water*                                                             2 1/2 cups milk

1 cup dried porcini mushrooms                                1/8 teaspoon ground nutmeg

2 tablespoons butter                                                   salt & pepper

1 onion, finely chopped                                            4 ounces Fontina  cheese, cubed**

1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves, chopped                   1 cup ricotta cheese

1 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Cook pasta for 2 minutes less than the package directs, drain and set aside

Meanwhile, preheat the oven to 375F.  In a microwave safe measuring cup heat water  1 1/2 -2 minutes, until boiling.  Stir in mushrooms, let stand 15 minutes.  With a slotted spoon remove mushrooms, rinse and chop.  Set aside, reserving liquid after straining.

Melt butter over medium heat in a large sauce pan.  Add onion and cook until tender & lightly browned, 8-9 minutes.  Stir in porcini and thyme.  Sprinkle with flour, cook 1 minute.  Whisk in milk, mushroom liquid, salt, pepper and nutmeg.  Heat to boiling, cook 2-3 minutes until thickened slightly, stirring frequently.

Add sauce to pasta, stir in Fontina, ricotta and 1/2 cup Parmesan.  Spoon into a 3 quart casserol, sprinkle with remaining Parmesan***.  Bake 30 minutes, until heated through and top is golden

*Because we omitted the mushrooms we substituted 3/4 cup of chicken stock instead

**Fontina was not available in our local grocery, we substituted Gouda instead (Provolone and Gruyere would also work)

*** Emily mis-read the recipe and stirred the full cup of Parmesan into the sauce.  It was fine, and we topped the dish with Asiago instead

Cooking with Emily: Spicy Beef with Couscous

And now we're back.
It has been almost a month since my last Cooking with Emily post.  She spent the last 2 weeks of July with her grandparents & two of her cousins taking swimming lessons, sight seeing and just being a kid.  She passed her level 4 swimming and had a great time, despite a few minor bouts of homesickness and one nasty tumble off her bike (no more damage than some road rash, but she milked it for all it was worth!)  She did do some cooking at Grandma's. she and her cousin made a shrimp dish with cheddar biscuits one night, and she helped me make fish tacos one evening when I was there for supper.
She was home for a day and a half before she was off to camp for a week, something she looks forward to each year.  As always we were scarcely on the road for home the following Friday and she was initiating a conversation about which camp she would like to attend next year.  I'm pleased she loves it so, if still a little surprised, since my own experiences with sleep away camp were not so delightful.  It was nothing torture for painfully shy child who wanted nothing more than to be let alone with her book and her thoughts.  In any case, it only proves how different we really are.
We are slowly returning to routine and some semblance of normalcy.  Monday morning Emily dove into the cookbooks to find something to make for supper.  Her first choice was bison ribs, which I vetoed, not only because we have no bison ribs (and I didn't want to buy beef ribs) but, much as she likes ribs the last couple of times we've made them she has not eaten them.
Some pouting and several pages later she found a recipe for Spicy Beef with Couscous.  It appeared easy enough, although I did have some trepidation, because she has generally rejected curry seasoned dishes as "tasting funny" (although she will inhale Butter Chicken and other Indian dishes-go figure.)
I made a quick trip to the grocery store (so much for not shopping again) for squash and to bolster our store of couscous.  I checked the internet for a recipe for Garam Masala, and yes, I did have all the needed spices, it was a quick mix in the kitchen.
After a trip back to camp for a bag of forgotten clothing - I really do need to teach the child how to pack- we had a couple of hours to relax, or in my case, fold laundry, before starting supper.  At four I thought I would do a little prep work for Emily, chopping the onion, peeling and dicing the squash and mincing the ginger & garlic.  She insisted she could indeed chop the onion, and did (nothing like pride to get things done) with only one distressed trip to the sink to rinse her hands in an attempt to stave off the tears.  She fretted that "real" cooks don't cry chopping onions, a thought I wasted no time in disabusing her of.  We had rinsed the onion well in cold water, which does help, but her height has her much nearer the cutting board, and her inexperience probably still has her pushing her glasses up with her hands-which just doesn't mix well with chopping onions.
I peeled and diced half a butternut squash for her, and minced a small piece of fresh ginger, then left her to cook.  She browned the onion in a little oil then she stirred in the ginger, garlic and the spices I had measured out for her, then added a package of ground bison.    She browned the meat before adding the squash, along with some frozen peas and chicken stock.  I suggested she cover the pan for a while and lower the heat, giving the squash a little more time to cook, and prepare her couscous when it was almost tender, as couscous takes barely 5 minutes to cook.  The aroma in the kitchen was delightful, rich and spicy, I found I was really looking forward to tasting this dish.  Often what she prepares are things I have made before, so the anticipation is quite different.
She balked a little about adding raisins to the couscous since she doesn't like them, but I told her the sweetness was a nice compliment to the spicy flavour of the meat.  As we were serving ourselves she asked if curry was spicy.  I told her that some are, but the curry powder we had used was quite mild.  I had to laugh to myself as she complained that she LIKED spicy food, and wanted spicy.  That's my girl!
Dinner was very good, just the right blend of spice, despite Emily's protestations.  She added soy sauce to her couscous and picked out the raisins...no accounting for taste still.  She tried the squash, and declared it tasted like carrots.  Not quite, but I do think carrots could be substituted for squash if necessary.

Spicy Beef with Couscous

1 Tablespoon vegetable oil                         1/2 teaspoon salt

1 onion, chopped                                         1 small yellow summer squash, cut into 1/2" chunks

2 garlic cloves, minced                               1 cup chicken broth

1 teaspoon minced fresh ginger                  1 cup frozen peas

1 pound lean ground beef                           1/2 cup loosely packed fresh cilantro, chopped*

1 tablespoon curry powder                         1 cup plain couscous

1 teaspoon Garam Masala spice mix**      1/2 cup golden raisins

In a large skillet heat oil and cook onion until golden brown, about 3 minutes.  Stir in garlic and ginger, cook another minute.

Stir in ground beef and cook, breaking up meat, until meat is no longer pink.  Stir in curry powder, garam masala and salt, cook 30 seconds.  Add squash and cook 2 minutes.

Stir in broth and peas, cook until slightly thickened and flavours blend.  You may need to reduce the heat, cover and allow the squash to cook through at this point.  We used a butternut squash that took about 10 minutes to become tender.  

Stir in cilantro.

Meanwhile prepare couscous as the label directs, but add the raisins with the water.  Fluff couscous with a fork and serve with the beef mixture.

*I am not fond of cilantro and would have eliminated it altogether, but this dismayed my rule following protege, so I chopped up about a 1/4 cup of fresh parsley instead

** Rather than purchase another bottle of expensive spice, knowing I had the various components already in the pantry I made my own Garam Masala as follows:

Combine: 1 tablespoon ground cumin                           1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

                  1 1/2 teaspoons ground coriander                 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

                 1 1/2 teaspoons ground cardamom               1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg

                 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

                                                     Store in a sealed container