When God closes a door get your fingers out of the way

I learned a painful lesson yesterday. One you might think I should have learned a long time ago. but, if I haven't said it before, let me say it now-I am rather willful & stubborn, which means I have to learn most lessons the hard way...
I'm sure you have heard the old saw-"be careful what you wish for"? Yesterday I learned its corollary; "when you ask God to close a door make sure your fingers aren't still trying to keep it open." Ouch.
If you follow this blog at all you likely know I am a single woman, and while I mostly enjoy my single status (I never have to share the remote or closet space, or explain why I need another pair of shoes) I do get lonely and long for someone to share my life with.
I believe God has a perfect mate out there, somewhere, just for me, but I get impatient & tired of waiting occasionally. That said, I confess I filled out a profile on a dating website, mostly just out of curiosity. Not long ago I began corresponding and chatting on line with someone I met through this site. He seemed to be a lovely, gentle and sincere man, but very cautious about letting me into his life. I accepted his shyness, and having been hurt myself understood his fear of getting hurt again. Going slowly, building a friendship was fine with me. I wanted a companion more than anything else, and he made me laugh.
We talked often, and I began to look forward to his phone calls. I teased him about his unwillingness to share his phone number with me or to meet with me to spend an afternoon with me while my daughter was with her dad, but as time wore on I really began to wonder what was going on.
Anyway, the biggest drawback really was that he was not a believer. I prayed often for him, we spoke openly about my beliefs and the importance of my relationship with God. And as I felt my heart being drawn to him I began to ask that if this was not something I ought to pursue God would firmly shut the door.
My friend began to drift, but I continued to email as if all were well, he offered excuses-hard news about his dad's health, his ex contacting him with a mind to working things out. I offered my sympathetic concern and best wishes for him and his ex, to which he replied there was no future with her, but he wanted to maintain friendly. But he continued to drift and stubborn, hopeful me continued to pursue, and to pray for a closed door.
After almost a week's silence I received a one sentence email with "busyness" as an excuse. I called him on it, I knew he was available to other friends. I pointed out I was frustrated with the lopsidedness of our relationship, laid my cards on the table, as it were.

And the door slammed shut on my fingers. YEOUCH! God had shut that door repeatedly, I insisted on prying it open again & again. I knew I was going to get hurt, but I wanted to believe, desperately I was irresistible, desirable and worth fighting for, even as a friend. Turns out I was wrong. Lesson learned.
I still want to find that someone...the hardest thing to deal with today, in the aftermath was my little girl asking several times today when "can we get a new dad?" She wants to be loved & cherished too. I told her to keep asking God to bring us a good dad. As for me, I give up. If God wants me to be alone right now, so be it. He is all the friend and lover I need right now, and there is no better daddy for my little girl. Taking matters into my own hands is simply not a good idea-and hopefully next time I be more patient and wait for Him to bring me Mr Right.