To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour. (Wm Blake)
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour. (Wm Blake)
It has been an interesting few weeks, ego-wise. A week ago I ordered my first pair of progressive lens glasses….now, I’ve worn corrective eyewear since I was 10, and getting my first pair of glasses was nothing if not traumatic, but I have come to embrace them as fashion accessories & a part of my “look”. But having to face bifocals or progressives seemed to underline something my calendar & I disagree on-I’m getting older. Don’t get me wrong, I really have no problem with my age, or with aging at all, but I still don’t like reminders that the clock is ticking, especially since I feel like I just got to the party.
I was always a shy, quiet mouse, and I still like to maintain some anonymity but that being said I have also been having some fun enjoying my single status. I may have mentioned before that I have filled out a profile on a dating website, at first simply out of boredom & curiosity, but I have discovered I like meeting people, and have had some interesting conversations & made new friends, with people (ok , men) I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
A couple of weeks ago as I was changing at the gym, I smiled to myself, recalling an email I had just received, and the thought crossed my mind; “Funny, I had to wait all these years, into my 40s, to feel like the Belle of the Ball.” I had no sooner finished shaking my head at how preposterous that seemed when I “heard” that familiar whisper, reminding me “you have always been the beautiful belle at MY ball.” Now, whether of not I am beautiful is not the point here, that is truly in the eye of the beholder, but the truth is we all want to believe we are beautiful, special, admired, sought after….and to be honest there has been enough rejection in my life, in yours too, I’ll wager, to make you question it.
As I have matured, as I have stopped relying on others for my peace & my joy, I have discovered new confidence. Part of my email signature is a quote from Dr. Seuss, that reads: “Be who you are & say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter& those who matter don't mind.” There is truth in those wise words, not to discount discretion & tact, of course. Shakespeare wrote; “This above all, to thine own self be true And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man. (Hamlet Act I scene 3)” I used to joke about embracing my “inner nerd”, saying that I was never going to fit in with the “cool” or popular crowd (high school can be brutal) so I might as well create my own persona. And I did, but time & a critical partner eroded that until I lost myself.
Thou canst not then be false to any man. (Hamlet Act I scene 3)” I used to joke about embracing my “inner nerd”, saying that I was never going to fit in with the “cool” or popular crowd (high school can be brutal) so I might as well create my own persona. And I did, but time & a critical partner eroded that until I lost myself.
But slowly I have been unearthing the girl I once was, allowing her to speak freely, letting the inner beauty of my unique self shine. I am not supposed to be like everyone else, I was “fearfully & wonderfully made” in the image of God. He gave me these gifts, this mind, this wit, and this body. Why should I not embrace it?
So, do me a favour. Go, take a long look in the mirror. Look deep in those eyes & see who God sees. You ARE beautiful. You ARE precious & beloved. Now say it. Go on, no one's listening.
