Goodbye/Hello

Goodbyehello

It seems as though all my life

is letting go-

saying goodbye

Always endings, closing doors

Every hello tainted by an inevitable farewell

You stand behind me,

Murmur hello against my neck

Your arms around me are a promise

Reminding me goodbyes are blessings;

“God be with you”

A prayer until we meet again.

Closed doors mean opened windows

Hello, hello

My oldest son has been away, visiting his girlfriend for the past 3 weeks, but was scheduled to come home today. I noted with a wry smile his Facebook comment yesterday: "Packing sucks". and felt a twinge of sympathy for her this morning when her status lamented; "another adventure ends".

As I prayed for a safe journey for him I could not help but think that I have been saying goodbye to my sons for all of their lives; they were 1 & 3 when their dad & I split and not long after a judge deemed them better off in their dad's care.

My son is grown now, in the fall he starts university. Thankfully he will be starting here, at our local school, but he has been talking about schools further afield for some time now. I am infinitely proud of my smart and handsome boy, and I have always known, as mothers do, that one day he would leave and build a life of his own. But I am not ready. I have had so little time with him, to teach him the things he needs to know to truly be a success. From the first moment I held each of my children and said "Hello" we have been moving toward these goodbyes.

Goodbye is a bittersweet word. I am one to linger at the door, unwilling for a visit to end, to always have something more to say on the phone. I have said goodbye too many times, although in most cases there has been opportunity to say hello again. It's been more than 25 years since I left my dad enjoying his breakfast on a Sunday morning not realizing it would be my last chance to say goodbye. I miss him still.

It's interesting that "hello" has little etymological meaning. Other languages' greetings seem to translate to "good day" , but goodbye was once "God be with you", a blessing, a prayer against the dangers faced in the world.

My subject matter may sound a little melancholy, especially for a beautiful summer day. I am not at all feeling melancholy. August has just begun, but summer has reached its halfway mark. The days are growing shorter, soon the routine of a new school year will begin. Change is in the wind, I can feel it. I have never been one to embrace change, but I am learning to, to see it as an adventure rather than a trial.

As I was considering goodbyes this morning I realized while every hello is inevitably followed by a goodbye, every goodbye also leaves us open to new things. Saying goodbye to friends who are moving to a new stage in their lives, be it physically or metaphorically creates a space for new friends to come in and enhance our lives. For me saying goodbye to unhealthy marriages allowed me to rediscover myself to say hello to a new adventure, to new relationships.

As I thought about how the losses, the goodbyes, in my life have opened the door for new, and often unexpected blessings, I was reminded too that there is one hello, that will never end in goodbye. When we say hello to Jesus as our saviour He promises to never leave us or forsake us-to never say goodbye. Hello, forever friend, hello