The Sun Will Always Rise

I bow my head in the pelting rain, the driving wind

to passers-by I seem a blossom crushed

but the storm will pass

the sun will rise again

and I will lift my face anew to seek its warmth

Though bent I am not broken,

Battered I am still strong.

Come the dawn I will stand tall again

and the kiss of sun will dry the tears of rain.


It has been, again, an interesting few days. Nothing all that unusual has happened, life goes on, good, bad & indifferent, and yet I have had that awful, nagging feeling the other shoe is about to drop. I know that feeling is a lie. I know God had good things stored up for me, and when bad things happen, as they are wont to do, He is there, more than able to pick up the pieces and turn every evil thing into something wonderful.
But sometimes knowing these things, even believing these things isn't enough. We need reassurance that all will be well. And for me, perhaps it is merely too much change too all at once, or perhaps that old fear, the old lie, that things are too good, my happiness, my contentment is undeserved, and it will be snatched away. It is one of the reasons even still I hesitate to make plans for the future, or to dare hope things might get even better-the fear of being let down, disappointed.
I wept as a prayed this morning, feeling frustrated, alone, abandoned (all lies). I confessed to being afraid, of being a hypocrite, speaking boldly about living my life without fear, quaking in terror with every step outside my safe little box. I have been reading the book of Job again (always a favourite of mine, if only for the wonderful poetry, but I do love the tale of Job's redemption & restoration) and something caught my attention yesterday...even in the midst of his laments, his bemoaning the situation he finds himself in & defending himself to his so-called friends Job still manages to speak words of hope & praise. I wonder if those words weren't spoken sometimes wryly, or if like me, Job didn't speak out words of affirmation, hope & praise with tears choking him, refusing, despite all emotional evidence to the contrary, to let go of what he knew to be true.
My tears were short-lived. Not only do I not have time for much self-pity or navel-gazing (but oh how I long for a day alone, away from my every day life for watching the clouds roll by) but I was quickly reminded of all the things I have already come through, most much worse than these few disappointments, and of all Holy Spirit has shown me, spoken to me. Life is good, the days are still filled with promise. The sun is shining brightly today and my life is filled to overflowing with blessings.