Stasis

Stasis.

the state of equilibrium or inactivity caused by opposing equal forces.

I haven't written for almost a week, not that I haven't sat in front of my keyboard, fingers itching to write something, anything, but there has been little to say. Just now, standing at the kitchen sink doing yet another round of dishes, thinking I ought to try to write, wondering what on earth I could say, the word "stasis" popped into my head. I have to say, it pretty accurately defines where I'm at right now. Life is good, it has an easy rhythm, some days are crazy busy, others are slow and dull. I am content-I want more, to be sure, of some things (money, love, the "good stuff") less of others (whinging child, bills to pay, the annoying & stress inducing) but here I am, in the middle. Yes, things could be better. Then again they could be a whole lot worse.
It is an interesting state, stasis. I am learning the difference, in all the aspects of my life, to understand the difference between stasis and stagnation. When life gets crazy, busy, stressful, I long to be here, stable and unmoving. Having been here now for some weeks I find myself (almost) wanting to rock the proverbial boat. The road is level and straight, without challenge or obstacle. But there is a restlessness in my heart. Stagnation results less in restlessness than in resignation. I have been there, day after day putting one foot in front of the other, never looking up, or back, or even to the side, barely surviving, wanting to believe there must be more to living than this but utterly unable to see it.

As I am writing this, trying to explain what it is I am looking for I can hear this little voice in my head telling me to enjoy this place. I know, deep in my spirit, this time of rest will abruptly end and some new adventure will begin. Funny, in the past change has frightened me. The prospect of altering anything filled me with doubt and alarm. Today I am looking forward to what is around the bend. Maybe I find myself more in control of my circumstances, more sure of myself. I know I am more sure God is in control of it all and whatever happens is a part of His plan for me. I feel free to take chances, re-create myself, re-define myself, re-discover myself.
This place of inactivity may be frustrating. Waiting becomes a trial. I find myself wondering why God has fallen silent, when in fact He wants me to just be still, to rest and prepare for whatever is coming next.
How have you responded to periods of stasis in your life?