A letter to my son on his 18 birthday.
I know I’ve said it so many times before it must be sounding trite to you, but it really does seem like only yesterday you were a little boy, dragging around you blanket, crawling up into my lap with a story book. I never knew I could love with such intensity before I held you for the first time.
The first time I looked into your eyes I knew you were mine…there could be no doubt, my heart told the tale. How many hours did I watch you sleep, your breathing matching mine? Circumstance may have taken you from me far too soon, but I have striven to remain close, to be your advocate, to influence you to be your own person, to take your place in this world. I have delighted in watching you grow and learn, become the man you are today. I have felt your hurts in my heart, I have longed to be there to comfort you.
I also know that at 18 you think you are grown, that today you are a man. In the eyes of the law, perhaps this is so. In the eyes of your mother you will always, always be my little boy. And I know how much learning and growing there is still to come. Never stop learning. Never stop growing, for it is then that we become old. Choose life, choose joy, choose to do good wherever you can. There will be tears, let yourself weep, in joy and in sorrow, knowing that as the sunrise follows the sunset laughter will follow tears.
I wish I had great words of wisdom to give you, but I have to rest in knowing I did my best to teach you well when I have had the chance. Whatever happens in your life you know I am always here for you, ever your greatest champion. I have always believed you were destined for great things, but the greater the heights you strive for, the greater the heights you reach the further there is to fall. I wish you every success, but I know you will taste failure-let failure be a place of learning, and may every failure make each success sweeter. I desire great things for you, but have tried to not burden you with my hopes and dreams-you need to find your own way, be your own man.
Don’t forget who you are, or where you came from. You are a beloved child of God, entrusted to my care for just a little while. I pray for you always, you are ever in my heart. I do not take a breath without thinking of you. I have been asking Holy Spirit to reveal Himself to you, that you might come to know and desire the things of God-it is in that place you will truly flourish. You are my high flyer.
No one else can make you happy. Your happiness is yours alone-if you look outside yourself to find it you will be disappointed. Be content, always, even as you pursue better things, with what you have. Envy and anger become bitterness and will eat away at you like a cancer in your soul. So will doubt and fear. Trust me in this, and know that these things are insidious. Guard against them. Keep people in your life who know you well and whom you trust to always speak the truth. Weigh what they tell you against your conscience and against the Word of God in your heart. Don’t be afraid to say you were wrong and to change course. Forgive. Always forgive. Forgiveness is not for the one who wronged you but for yourself. It sets you free. Forgiveness does not excuse the wrong done, it does not mean you forget. It is a choice, and you will find, sometimes a difficult one.
Create balance in your life. Work hard at what ever your chosen vocation is, but make room to care for your spirit, to pray & worship, to reflect, to rest. Always have time for your friends, for the people who love you-when life gets hard they will be the ones you can lean on, who will carry you until you are ready to stand on your own again. Find room in every day for the things that give you pleasure-surround yourself with things that make you smile.
And whatever else happens, remember, your mother loves you.
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