I was thinking this morning about a line in an old chorus "Put on the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness..." I'm not quite sure what brought it to mind. I had been going over the events of this past weekend, and I got to thinking about how I used to wear my hurt and anger like a coat of armour, and how vulnerable I felt without its protection. I wore it for years, keeping everyone at arm's length.
When I wasn't clad in my spiked armour I wrapped myself in a cloak of invisibility. It was equally comfortable-I felt no one saw me, I was the girl who wasn't there. In fact, in time, this particular garment became so familiar I forgot I wore it. I wonder now just how often I bemoaned my invisible state to my friends. I felt ignored, unseen, insignificant. I didn't even realize I had begun to consistently present myself in metaphoric clothing designed to keep everyone at bay.
Finally I have found again, hiding in the back of my closet a forgotten garment...
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. (Isaiah 61)
How light and lovely this garment is... like finally slipping into a sun dress and sandals after a long winter of sweaters and heavy boots.
A lifetime ago we were singing the chorus I referred to in a Sunday morning service when I glanced up & saw a friend across the room scowling about something. I pulled my scarf out of my coat, walked over, wrapped it around his neck, embraced him and told him I would lend him my "garment of praise" until he could find his again. It was a simple, silly gesture, but it turned the tide for him that day. Several years later I gave another friend a pink pashmina as a birthday gift, with a note to wrap herself in it when she needed a physical reminder of how much she was loved. Not long after that I had a dream about the two of us ministering together at a women's conference and presenting every woman in attendance with a similar scarf embroidered with an appropriate verse, a tangible reminder of our garment of praise or our robe of righteousness. It becomes a choice to physically put something on in this m
anner, and takes the idea out of the world of metaphor.It sounds a little trite here, but I considered all of these memories, thoughts and ideas as I stood in worship this morning. I no longer feel invisible, my protective and adversarial armour is stowed away. I feel almost like a butterfly finally emerging from my chrysalis, more like myself than I have in ages. I am ready to take on whatever comes next on this road I am travelling.
What have you clothed yourself in today?
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